5 Conversations every parent should have with their child before they turn 10.
We, like most parents, tend to live in survival mode. We rush the kids out of bed to get ready for school. We rush to get them to their extra curricular activities after school. We eat dinner, do homework, put the kids to bed…and finally crash on the couch.
It’s easy to be a loving parent who isn’t all that intentional. We are all too tired to be!
After doing a bit of research and talking with a counselor, I have composed five conversations a parent should have with their kids around the age of 10. You can absolutely begin earlier and should; this is just a good mile marker.
1) Talk money:
- How people earn money. Share with them where your money comes from.
- Explain a simple budget. People budget to get the things they need and the things they want.
- Talk about helping others with your resources. Let them watch you give to the poor or tithe in church.
2) Talk Sex:
- Safe touch. Tell them how a loving person should touch them.
- Let them know over and over again that they can tell you anything. You can’t tell them that enough. The catch is you can’t explode when they do share their heart. You must be safe too! You absolutely can deal with serious things in a calm and mature way.
- Tell them where they come from. I have a great age specific resource at the bottom of this blog. Check it out by clicking here.
3) Talk about doing what’s right over how they feel.
- Share about a time in your life where you had to do the right thing and didn’t want to.
- Talk about there being objective truths that we all must abide by. We use the Bible in our home!
4) Talk about whom they should listen to and trust.
- There are a lot of people who have opinions about a lot of things. Who should they trust? When they have questions, where should they turn? Tell them! If you don’t, Google will.
- Clearly name safe family, friends and resources.
- Talk about the police. Show them a picture of a police officer. When should a policeman be called?
- Talk about firefighters. Show them a picture of a firefighter. When should a firefighter be called?
- Show them how they can contact each of these people.
5) Talk about death:
- This is really scary and many parents just avoid the conversation. This will differ based on what you believe, but don’t pretend like it doesn’t exist! They are asking questions and searching for answers. If you believe they come from nothing and death is the final end, say it. If you believe we were created for a purpose and there is something after life, say it. We teach the purpose of Jesus and hope of heaven in our home. We can’t wait to see Grandpa again!
Is this a perfect list? No it isn’t. It is however a wise list based on nearly 15 years of working with families, reading many parenting books, and conversations with a child and adolescent counselor. So let this be a checklist you can use to move from survival parenting to missional parenting!
*The pictures are outstanding! They are all over social media. I don’t even know who to give the credit!