Why your kids think drinking, sex outside of marriage, and many of your other “traditional” boundaries are no big deal.

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Ever wondered why your kids think drinking, sex outside of marriage, and many of your other “traditional” boundaries are no big deal?

“Pastor Mike, I have heard you say that it is God’s desire for us to save sex until after marriage. I want to be honest with you. I am sleeping with my girlfriend, and I think it’s great. With birth control and protection… sex is much safer today.”

“Pastor Mike, I have heard you say it’s best to limit, or avoid, alcohol completely. The truth is, I have been drunk a few times; it was really fun. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Think seeds.
You plant a seed in the ground, cover it up, stand there and look at a pile of dirt. You shrug your shoulders and say. “Ok, where is the giant oak tree?” People have an affair and after a few days say to themselves. “Ok, that was fun and I don’t see any big problems.” They drink a little too much at a party, or sample drugs, and think, “What’s the big deal? That was fun!” They experiment with a “live-in” relationship and after a few weeks think to themselves, “I like this! My parents just don’t get it.” It seems like nothing bad has really developed… not yet. The big bad consequences, their parents warned them about, are just not visible. Much like the seed planted in the soil, nothing is visible… not yet.

However, something else is happening, beyond what they can see. Something very dangerous. Something very subtle, very sinister. It’s something we may have unintentionally implied, all while trying to protect our kids.

“Trust your heart.” I believe this is one of the enemy’s greatest tactics. It isn’t really about getting people to enjoy sex outside of Biblical boundaries. It isn’t really about losing sobriety or a sound mind to have a little fun. It’s not about the selfish spending of money over living generously.
I believe the enemy’s greatest offensive weapon is convincing you that you can trust your heart. That these fun experiences are your greatest compass for living. Instead of trusting a truly objective, unimaginably wise guide, in God, you look within, and trust your own subjective, unimaginably deceived heart. Ancient wisdom teaches us that, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Why do your kids think drinking, sex outside of marriage, and many of your other “traditional” boundaries are no big deal?  Because you taught them to trust their heart and that is exactly what they are doing.

Here is the truth we need to tell our kids. Sex outside of marriage may be fun at times. Partying with your friends can feel good. Moreover, honoring God and obeying his ways doesn’t always “feel” good in the moment. I think it’s dangerous to imply that if they wait until marriage their sex life will be amazing or that loss of sobriety, through the use of drugs or alcohol, will always feel bad. That’s clearly not true, and ultimately very dangerous, because we are still centering our kids’
life compass on their own temporal, personal pains and momentary pleasures. Remember a heart, even a “Christian” heart, that is centered on it’s own temporal pleasures will diligently work to bend or rewrite boundaries allowing it to have what it wants.
Here is what our kids need to know. All of us are small, finite, and blind to true joy and true pain. Our own hearts will deceive us, so we need a loving guide. God understands and loves each of us. He gave his son to suffer and die to make right the wrongs we have done. Perfect joy is coming, but no human can get there alone. This comes through one road, one compass… Christ. The center of your life isn’t avoiding painful things or chasing pleasurable things. It is trusting in the heart of a loving, wise Father who plants seeds that will grow oaks of righteousness, that display the Lord’s splendor.(Isaiah 61:3). The right “seeds” or “compass” isn’t found within one’s own heart.  They are found in trusting the rich, time transcendent, word of God and work of Christ.

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8 thoughts on “Why your kids think drinking, sex outside of marriage, and many of your other “traditional” boundaries are no big deal.

  1. Mike,

    Good insight in your blog. Thanks for writing and sharing it.

    Here’s an additional Scriptural thought. In Hebrews 11:25 – “He (Moses) chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.” I used to preach a sermon, “Sin Is Fun . . .for a While” The Bible does say sin is fun for a season. Eventually, it bites back or addicts or causes damage, even eternal damage. Another common cultural theme today is, “I just want to be happy . . . OR . . I just want my child to be happy.”

  2. 6 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did whatever he wanted.
    (Judg 17:6 HCSB Strongs)

    Sent from CadreBible

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